這會造成什麼問題?首先日常的劇情本來就容易貧乏容易膩,而且篇幅多了很容易就會露出馬腳,要維持好笑、輕鬆的水準其實非常不容易,多則做作,少則無聊,重點是可能沒梗、重複或者太死板、不自然。比賽本來是一個很好的氛圍轉折點,節奏和日常相反,緊湊的環節能夠強迫集中吸引讀者的注意力,更別說原作本來就是籃球動畫,把角色擺在對的位置、對的環境,張力一定更強更飽滿。兩者之間本應相輔相成,但作者現在寫比賽的手法更像是減省了很多之後的轉播,還是超不專業的那種,xx使出了xx拉開比分了、xx竟然用了xx拉近了比分、xx最終還是不敵xx……嘖,這回合制,我是在看死神嗎?
以同人作品來說,這部作品應該算很不錯的了。之所以用「應該」,主要是因為我不常看同人作品,無從與其他作品做比較,單純看內容以及閱讀時的體感就是還不錯,自創的角色與原作角色之間的互動不會到太突兀,女主很有個人特色,劇情還算有條理,橋段偶能會心一笑,是一部非常輕鬆自在的作品。至於為什麼不是「好看」、「非常棒」,就,沒有給我這樣的感覺啊。但是敘述和邏輯都過關了欸,問題出在哪?讓我們再換個角度思考一下。
日常已經比較鬆散了,比賽的劇情又草草帶過,整體看下來節奏就很不舒服,更別說這部故事其實根本沒有主軸,導致前期靠搞笑吸引目光、後期靠原作劇情加強回憶共鳴以此穩住原創主角與黃瀨的關係,越看就越無聊,沒有起伏,沒有期待感。關於沒有主軸這件事後面再細說。
archaic Greek Sigma can be published with unique figures of angles and strokes. In addition to the classical form with 4 strokes (
再來是故事結構的問題。眾所周知黑籃就是一部「一群擁有超能力的少年一起打籃球」的故事,那麼對於「打籃球」這件事,自然是避無可避的一個要點,但作者偏偏就是避了。整部作品雖說走日常輕鬆搞笑風,然而主劇情的時間線還是照著原作走,因此原作有的比賽本作裡都有,然而作者基本上都是寥寥數語帶過。
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In 1863, George Elphinstone Dalrymple claimed pastoral land in a place of lately opened crown lands, The Valley of Lagoons.[2] A law enforcement camp was set up at the southern extent of Dalrymple's land, the long run place in the township, As well as in 1864 grew to become the first inland town in Northern Australia being surveyed.
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Development slowed in the dig this aftermath of your 1974 Brisbane flood which saw A lot of the eastern, decrease-lying regions of the suburb poorly inundated with h2o. Due to the fact the anchor construction of the Wivenhoe Dam while in the eighties the panic of floods was lessened and growth elevated.
“Kind of” refers to some singular advocacy groups Australia occasion or variety. Hence, it’s their explanation sensible to count on the two singular and plural kinds to work right here.
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讀到這裡有些人可能會很好奇為什麼上面沒有說到女主佛蘭西斯?沒錯,由於她是故事的開端,所以我想把她放在這邊一起說。
不可能所有讀者都對原劇情熟悉到不行,我知道有,但能遇到那只是作者幸運,常態應該是只是有看過原作,甚至只是對原作還有點印象,對原作場面進行再加工有助於讀者連結記憶,對故事來說也有助於控制節奏起伏;可若不寫,故事本身就會顯得異常流水帳,原創劇情和原作劇情的割裂感會很重,一邊重一邊輕,沒有交融的感覺,彷彿是兩個不同的故事被硬拼在一起,你是你我是我。
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